Starting Fresh - A Journey Of Renewal

I've been reflecting on life a lot lately. Specifically, how much I've been through. Don't we all say that though? We've all been through things. But our own individual experiences cannot be ignored. I've been through a lot in this life. I'm in my late '30s and I've been reflecting on how my 40s is right around the corner. It's kind of scary but in an exciting way. I don't remember going through this when I turned into my '30s or into my twenties. Not to this degree. But I think that turning 40 is something that we all get anxiety about to some degree because of the here-say about your 40s as approaching being over the hill and getting old. That's really not the case. It depends upon how we treat our bodies and age is nothing but a number so long as we are taking good care of ourselves. At least that’s what my therapist tells me, and I do believe him because he is in his 50s and still going strong. He's looking at life like every day is a whole new adventure. He is such an inspiration. I'll probably be linking his information in a future blog post. You'll be hearing more about him here on this blog. He's an amazing person. But when I talk about him and share his details, I want to do it right. So, it has to be a future thing. 

What I've learned is that every day is a new chance, and we never want to fall into the mindset of thinking life has ended or is over. That will ensure that we won't do anything or go anywhere.  I've been doing a lot of inner child healing and that's helped me to learn more about who I am today. So, it feels like my childhood self or past selves are walking hand in hand towards our future. I find myself with an unknown feeling here and there. I don't know if it's depression because I have experienced depression. I understand how devastating depression is and how it can consume everything. That's not what I'm feeling. I'm not feeling that consuming emotion. So, I'm not sure exactly what this is. It isn't quite depression but it's just an uneasy maybe would be a better word to describe the feeling as. I feel like I'm in a liminal space. A place of in between. You know how when you're growing up and are in your late teens maybe even your early twenties. You're not a child anymore, but you don't quite feel like a whole adult yet. There's a song that comes into my mind about this by Britney Spears, Not A Girl Not Yet A Woman is the title. I'm going to share some lyrics from that song. "I used to think I had the answers to everything, but now I know that life doesn't always go my way. Feels like I'm caught in the middle, that's when I realize... I'm not a girl, not yet a woman. All I need is time, a moment that is mine while I'm in between." This resonates with the place that I am at right now energetically and emotionally pertaining to my life. I am a woman, so we can discard the girl part even though that girl is still within me. She's still there. But she's joined in and merged with the woman version of me. Yet what am I heading into if I'm already a woman? I'm not sure if I'm getting my words out properly. I guess it's just a personal evolution. I'm learning more about myself and becoming a much more aligned person. Aligned with my soul purpose, spiritually as well as in my life. I'm becoming more aligned with my goals and understanding who I am. It's certainly a journey that is trying and very confusing. Let me know if you relate to that. 

I'm also learning more about what my purpose here is. I never want to say that I've learned it all and that I have fully awakened. In my perspective that would be limiting myself and excluding additional knowledge. There's always more to learn and that's the beautiful part about existence. So, if you ever come across somebody who makes it seem like they have fully awake and then they know it all. They're either lying to you, or they are lying to themselves. Nobody in this life who's still alive in the human flesh knows it all and there's so much to learn about existence in this world as well as in the realms beyond this one. That's amazing and I feel sorry for anybody who thinks they've attained all knowledge or that they have attained some level of mastery in regard to spiritual knowledge and understanding about life. We can become good at things yet can we ever fully master something? I don't think so because in saying you've learned it all, that would mean that you're not open to any additional teaching. Aren't we all students of life? Being students of life; yeah sure, some people might be in high school or college while others might be an elementary or middle school. But we're all students, nonetheless. I think learning it all, the graduation, might be our souls leaving this world through the process of death and rebirth into who we truly are. I know this blog post is so random but I'm just sharing my heart. I want to be sure to do that especially if you're somebody who knows me from my spiritual services. I want you to know that I am a real person with real experiences, and I am perfect. Nobody is. We're all still learning here and that's amazing and I'm happy that I'm on this journey with you. I want you to trust yourself and remain open. That's what I'm doing, I'm practicing what I preach. Trust yourself yet remain open means not putting your full trust in any spiritual professional or whatever they would want to call themselves. Trust your instincts because you are just as divine and just as powerful. Maybe you just don't remember it yet. Maybe you do. But there's always more to learn. Why am I talking about this? It's because I've been learning a lot more about myself as I've mentioned earlier in this blog post. I'm in a state of in between and I'm trying to uncover what it is that I'm heading into? What is it that I'm uncovering? Sometimes I feel like an archaeologist, and I've discovered something and I'm picking and brushing away the pieces of earth around the item. I don't know what it is yet but there's a lot of excitement, curiosity, and confusion. Why confusion? Well because the little pieces aren't making the full puzzle yet. We often have a problem with the unknown. We tend to be afraid of it. It's unfortunate, I guess that we fall into that because the unknown offers a lot of beautiful things. It offers a lot of scary things as well, let's not disregard that fact. But the different discoveries of this world, civilization, and existence would never have been if the people discovering it didn't take that chance and seek to discover what that unknown has to offer. That's what I'm doing in my life right now emotionally, spiritually and you know what probably in all ways. I hope that you're relating to this right now but if you're not that's okay. I hope you join me on this journey. Thank you for reading the entire blog post. I hope to see you around here again. Go check me out on my social medias If you would like to connect with me further.